The year is 2015, you wake up at 2pm and rush to your computer. Your friends are on skype! You message your skype group and say “dgdjfgdfg GOOD MRONGING I OVERSLEP TGDFG”, all your friends reply with a keysmash. They update you on what happened while you napped, two of your mutuals got called out for kinstealing. Tsh- not like you’re surprised. Even if they tagged as “not kin or id”, you knew they were reblogging too much chrom art for them not to be kin. Your friends quickly send you the callout post link and you scroll through it hastily. Looks like they also stole their mutuals theme layout. You close the callout and open tumblr.com, you recently changed your url from bpdayato to ayato2 (score!) and need to reblog the notice post again for your mutuals who may not have seen. You have one new ask! You open your inbox to read it. It says- “were u tumblr user schizogod.” …you delete the ask. You know if you say yes they will bring up old callouts, but that’s not important- your friends just sent you a rabbit invite and you’re going to watch darkweb videos!
is this like satire or did you guys actually live this
i’m in Ireland and the search for that bastards name is still blocked and hidden… the legnths the british go to defend and protect their instruments of colonialism and violence is beyond belief. no justice for the victims and yet every measure taken to protect David James Cleary and his fellow murderers.
Never a better time for the Streisand Effect than when it’s a government covering up acts of brutality and evil.
Everyone in NYC got a screeching emergency alert telling us not to heat up our food. Yet all the commercial billboards, NYPD stations, and other utterly unnecessary utilities are left powered on. That’s class warfare, plain and simple.
there is a drought, not enough water to drink, yet the wealthy still have ornamental fountains running, full swimming pools, and lush green golf courses
Just got a similar email from ConEdison yesterday and it’s the same thing. Profit over people.
“but how does the giant monster consume enough calories to eat?’ fuck YOU it’s part of a lush ecosystem that isn’t depicted onscreen. Yeah let’s just pause the adventure to discuss trophic levels and ATP transfer between subterranean bacterial colonies. Fucking clown. Yeah let’s just halt the whole adventure to talk about how the iron-poor planet never developed a magnetosphere, thus the cellular life can harvest energy from cosmic background radiation. That’s appendix shit. Moron.
The notes on the food chain really are for the Author to know and apply consistently and you to learn about by observation of detail on your own. Like how they don’t tell you all about how horses use the sloshing of their guts to physically move their lungs in the middle of the horse race, because they need to be calling who is in the lead, but if you watch the animals you can see how it works.
When you spot little details like that, you and the author are playing a fun game. They snuck a world-building Waldo into the narrative and you found him! It’s much more fun that having waldo circled like how Billy Lubkeman used to circle all the waldos in the library books.
but
very once in a while,
The Food Chain IS the Waldo itself and if you think about Where the Kaiju is getting it’s calories from, you can interrogate all the little waldos and they’ll tell you about the fun secret dimension the author put in the story where all the waldos come from, and how there are also Wendas and Wilmas and Odlaws and Wizard Whitebeards and Waldo’s dog Woof hiding in the story too and you get to enjoy something that a reader like Billy, who treats the story like a race, will never get to enjoy.
So slow down Billy. Enjoy the emotional tension between the characters as Flombo The Elf is almost eaten. You can watch the movie or read the book again and look for the Wendas, and they’ll tell you about the Subterranean bacterial colonies and it’s like getting to read your favorite book for the first time twice.
and for the love of god, stop defacing the library books.
The way Twitter discourse works is that a deranged fandom kid (who may actually be in their 30s) says, in complete seriousness, that the government should be spending at least 25% of its annual budget developing a giant cannon that can shoot pedophiles into the sun, and then a grad student quote tweets it saying “that sounds impractical before even addressing the question of whether it’s justifiable” and then that person is the subject of a 48-hour twitter meltdown for “doxxing” the original twitter user because quote-tweeting them made them visible to more people who could also dunk on them.
The original twitter user’s equally deranged mutuals will then spend a few hours trying to call/email/@mention the grad student’s advisor or their university trying to get them fired/expelled for “pedophilia apologism”. Due to their laziness (giving up if contacting someone is too hard) and the deranged nature of their complaints, this will only work 10-15% of the time.
And then when that person complains about this (after unlocking their account a week later), every smug left-liberal like Osita Nwanevu will tweet for days about what a non-issue this is and why you’re a right winger for caring.
Is Chris Evans Steve Rogers or is Steve Rogers Chris Evans?
good
“Fellas, is it gay to be a good father?”
Shout out to Harry Hill
I think Piers is somewhat of a national laughing stock by now
if I don’t reblog a good burn on piers morgan, assume I’m dead
The logic of “Brands will only hop on the train if they can prove it’s profitable” makes it so much funnier when they clown on this fool. “Yeah we crunched the numbers and we found it to be profitable to call this clown out in public. Jacob hit the post button.”
I don’t know if you’re American or not but in my experience as a person who is not American, American events and media are so incredibly loud and visible that they tend to leech into everything.
Like I’m Canadian born and raised and can name more American presidents than I can Canadian Prime Ministers. I have Canadian friends from Canada who can accurately describe themselves as Liberals but are still sorta foggy on NDP policies. Do you know what day Canada Day is? It’s July 1st. Do you know what’s on my dashboard on July 1st? Early posts about July 4th.
And if you’re an American reading this: Or, hell, anyone else reading this: We all know George Washington was the first American President. Do you know who the first Prime Minister of Canada was? Can you name two British political parties? What are two countries that have Monarchies, not Democracies? What was the most recent political scandal you can think of that took place outside the US? What’s your favourite TV show that takes place anywhere outside of America? What are your top three favourite non-american musicians? If English is your first language, how many foreign countries can you go to where you don’t speak the language, but don’t have to worry about it?
I said “International America Day” as a joke, but there is a very real phenomenon in countries outside of the US where the general population becomes Americanized through the prevalent American media.
We know American current events, we know American scandals, we know about American cops and American movies and American accents and American fast food chains. We have serious opinions on the American legal system and we talk about American law and American policy and American celebrities, and many of us don’t know Jack Shit about what’s going on where we live.
I’m Canadian. I’ve heard all about ‘building the wall’ and ICE and June 6th, the intentional government distribution of narcotics in Black communities and the use of Marijuana Illegalization to persecute Black and Mexican people under the Nixon administration.
Do you know what Canada did to Chinese immigrants to build the Canadian railroad? What about the Sterilization Act? Residential Schools? Do you know what a Status Card is? Does it, or does it not cost money to ride in an ambulance? Can people with breasts legally walk around topless? What’s the legal drinking age? What are our biggest cities? Who was our least-popular PM? What are our allied nations? Where does the Canadian military get deployed?
“International America Day” was a goof. But Jesus, it’s a little bit serious
Wow…. so you’re telling me you took an action that resulted in the death of one person…… to save the lives of many people…. who would have died if you did nothing??? that sounds so familiar
actually the fact tumblr glitches and treats you like a new user when youre not is really funny. could you imagine taking a bite out of a fucking big mac or whatever and a whole crowd of people jump out and start cheering and congratulating you on learning how to eat
people from the us trying to think up analogy: “this is just like if mcdonald hamburger”
never disrespect my mcdonald hamburger ever again do you know how many rock and roll disk i had to sacrifice to get this thing
ALT
